She repeated, "I do not write".

"the mere thought of your scent.

and my heart to rest on the bottomless floor.

 like a childhood bedtime storybook. familiar, yet far.

my memory flashes back to the night on the field.

you gave up your sweater, naturally, as i was shivering. 

you mentioned the strange, starry sky- something was different, and it made you feel uneasy. 

i kicked around sand and somehow, through my chattering teeth, reminisced aloud my past years playing on that field.

there was so much i wanted in that moment, merely frozen.

at some point you awkwardly put your arms around me to keep me warm, we hugged.

i want to kiss you, i thought. yet somehow i couldn't.

 kiss me, kiss me, my thoughts kicked repeatedly- giddy and naive.

but too soon you let go, glanced at me and we walked.

 bravely i took your hand in mine and held it for a brief second.

from your hand there was warmth.

 from your heartbeat- unease.

and you let your hand go- as if to search for something else to do with it.

only, nothing.

and at that moment i knew."

▲natt