Thursday, November 5, 2015

c.p. n.y.

central park basically exceeded my expectations.
i managed to get there on my second to last day because, frankly, i really didn't know what i was in for.
i pictured central park as a cliche, new york go-to-must - but... i get it now.
the changing of leaves, the crisp air, people blowing giant bubbles, coffee-in-hand, curious squirrels... even the tourists (plus much, much more) - all made it quite magical.
and then to find out that our hour and a half walk only took us about a quarter ways of the whole park...
i was completely dumbfounded.
i mean, everyone talked about how big it was and all, but i think what they meant is that it's MASSIVE.

more photos soon to come from the trip.

to trust some more

Tuesday, November 3, 2015


since being back home in vancouver, i've had many people ask me how my trip was to nyc.
my first instinct was to preach about how "incredible" - which by the way, i've completely butchered that word having thrown it around a good 50 million times - my experience was there. 
and with all honesty, it truly was just that.
but what i've yet to have shared is the struggle that i've been fighting - just within the couple of days of being back.

new york was a dream.
and i was abruptly shaken awake seemingly once i touched down in vancouver.
unknowingly, i'd put new york on a pedestal, to the point where i was idolizing the lifestyle, culture, art, etc.
i believe it's okay to appreciate these things, but it's unbelievably effortless for our mind and thoughts to get carried away and make these things into so much more.

i came back to my first day of work miserable.
vancouver was just so... bleh.
i attempted a decent outfit and walked into work hardly aware that i was straining a smile.
i forced myself to have "genuine" conversations with others, all the while i felt like i was fighting back big, dramatic tears.
everything. so. theatrical... i know.

but then this evening i came across these verses that i'd highlighted a little while back in my bible:

And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
Luke 12:15


"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ."
Philippians 3:8

uhm, what the what!
praise God for these reminders!

and so.
i am grateful and blessed for all that i am and what i have and do not have,
to be exactly where i am in my life,
to have gone on that "incredible" trip; in which i hold close many memories.
and that i am satisfied, fully,
in Christ.


Monday, November 2, 2015

11 . 02 . 15

not that i am speaking of being in need, 
for i have learned in whatever situation i am to be content.
i know how to be brought low, 
and i know how to abound.
in any and every circumstance, 
i have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, 
abundance and need.
i can do all things through him who strengthens me.
- philippians 4:11-13

Monday, October 12, 2015

struggles of the flesh - vl 1 : easy / teach me

easy / teach me

easy to sit here and wallow in my pain,
easy to let the enemy plant lies into my brain,
easy to unforgive what i already forgave,
even when i know that it's by grace that i've been saved.

oh Lord,
oh Lord, i cry to you,
you see my wicked heart,
but your grace forgave me from the start

oh Lord,
oh Lord, i'm ashamed to even ask,
for you to show me how to love,
when i've refused to look to you above.

teach me,
teach me,
cause it's easy. 

teach me,
teach me,
cause it's easy,
to forget.

i forget.

(to be cont'd...)

photo via: purelikegolddd