the "big" 2 3

one, big muchas gracias to all those who took the time to wish me a happy birthday today.

especially all you individuals who i rarely talk to/haven't talked to in ages.

in all honesty i'd been dreading 23 for what seems like a whole year... ever since i turned 22.

i just didn't want the day to come. 

period.

and then to add the icing on the cake, i recently came across an article on,

*rolls eyes*, facebook, that shed light as to why 23 is the worst year of your life.

oh ya? oh sick. 

awesome.

but what TRULY is so gut-wrenchingly terrible about 23, you might ask?

well... nothing.

to put it simply:

it's all what you make of it.

i'd originally assumed it to be some big identity crisis.

and, to be fair, i have re-evaluated career paths and goals,

but rather than being fearful and negative about it, 

i'm trying to use it as an opportunity to learn more about who am i.

what are my strengths/weaknesses?

what am i truly passionate about?

do i belong in another city... country?

and so on.

while in palm springs for the next 8 days, 

i figured this would be a good opportunity to spend time reflecting, 
and talking with God about all these things hammering away in my head.

and at the end of the day,
no matter where i am or what i am doing,
i am blessed (to death).

"And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!"

Psalm 139:24

wus gud

1. some creative work i did for Nocturnal Workshop's SS'15 look book 

[photography by fahim kassam, ian lanterman and modelling by ben etienne].

2. birthday shoes - from me to me.

3. & 4. keepin' in comf clothing

hope continually...

                      

                                    

                  

                      

 

had a real nice wrap to my week with a solid sunday.

Mr. Red Cafe was calling my name so i caved & went back again with della and rob.

we ate till we couldn't move which then forced us to just sit 

and take in each other's company.

the subject of "trust" and "hope" have been resonating a lot with me the past few weeks.

reminding myself to surrender everything i have to the Lord as i have a tendency

to try and take over my own plans for the future.

but also feeling super encouraged by friends and family- even through moments of doubt.

and moments of "where are you God?"

meditating on these verses this week:

But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.

Psalm 71:14

Is not your fear of God your confidence,

and the integrity of your ways your hope?

Job 4:6

Not only that, 

but we rejoice in our sufferings, 

knowing that suffering produces endurance,

and endurance produces character, 

and character produces hope,

and hope does not put us to shame, 

because God's love has been poured into our hearts

through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

vietnamese vs creme brulee

 Zara coat, American Apparel hoodie and denim, New Balance 850's

della introduced me to Mr. Red Cafe today- just up Hastings.

mind blown.

if you think you've had vietnamese, think again.

all i can say is if you are a Vancouverite you must go.

end of story.

in the evening we ran, (literally), in the pouring rain to Crackle Creme.

our lovely friend, Mary, joined us.

what'a treat.

those creme brulees in front of us were gone in seconds.

give the lavender honey a try.

destroying fear.

 spent my morning with this one today... along with a handful of other awesome "Westsiders".

at the beginning of september i began going to wednesday morning prayer at my church.

7 am, bright n early.

i went for a little over a month & then one wednesday decided, "i'll just sleep this one out".

week after week i continued to make excuses not to go.

little did i know that my dear friend, della, had been praying for me all along- to come again.

this morning the Lord helped me get out of bed and walked me into the church.

i realize now the underlying reason that i was avoiding wednesday mornings:

i was intimidated by prayer.

sitting in a circle with a group of individuals that either i hardly know or don't know at all can be a tad frightening.

aside from the fact that these are amazing, Christ-loving people, 

i believed that they were offering prayers far "better" than my own.

so often i struggle with finding the "right" words to say.

and just living in fear of judgement from others...

something we all struggle with from time to time.

so before hand, i just prayed that God would just give me wisdom and confidence and destroy whatever misguided insecurities i had about prayer.

and PRAISE!

He did just that.

whatever fear i was experiencing was coming all from The Enemy. 

of course he didn't want me to go to prayer on Wednesdays.

of course he was going to put obstacles on my path to prevent me from going.

just feelin' real blessed that i was able to overcome this silly fear of mine today.

all with help from the Lord.

this verse speaks so much power and truth:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, 

but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Romans 8:26

Such knowledge is too wonderful.

"You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, Oh LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; is is high; I cannot attain it."

Psalm 139:3-6

yesterday & today

wings+horns button-down, Aritzia pants, Adidas Gazelle's and Daniel Wellington Watch

wings+horns primaloft vest, Aritzia blouse, Rag & Bone pants, wings+horns x New Balance MT580 sneakers, Army & Navy toque

dark rouge, that is.

it was about time i whip out the ol' rouge lipstick.

dark rouge, that is.

this one is from Makeup Forever (Mat 7). 

also i gave myself cat eyes and that never happens. woopsie.

monday on the east side

della and i both live on the east side.

in fact, we live in the same building.

we see each other nearly every day. 

she keeps me in check- or vice versa.

it's rare that we have a day off together during the week other than sundays.

this past monday was sorta special in the sense that we both had no jobs to be committed to.

so we took a walk round our hood.

one of her favorite places on the east side is Strathcona area.

i'd never really ventured around that area before.

at least not like how we did on monday.

we saw a ton of old buildings - some you could tell were renovated and some that were

just straight up old as heck and falling apart.

those buildings to me were the most interesting- they were so honest and vulnerable. 

we strolled by a couple cozy corner stores and i also discovered the "other" Finches!

still reminding myself that i need to pop in there one of these days.

eventually we made our way to Value Village because who doesn't like a little 50% off?

i actually ended up trying on a handful of things but left empty handed.

it's okay.

i was reminded that just because something is cheap, doesn't mean you need to buy it.

because more than half the time it just hangs in your closet making dust.

... that's definitely a line my mom used on me.

and she was right.

do not be anxious about your life.

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, 

what you will eat or what you will drink, 

nor about your body,

what you will put on.

Is not life more than food,

and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air:

they neither sow nor reap not gather into barns,

yet your heavenly father feeds them.

Are you not of more value than they?

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his life?

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,

and all these things will be added to you.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.

Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6: 25-27 & 33-34

plans to give you hope and a future

i'm not one for new years resolutions.

but i figure now is at least an opportunity to start "fresh".

i want to pursue a styling and/or singing career.

i want to know what gruelling, hard work feels like.

i want to put aside fear of failure & any insecurities.

i want to trust that my future is in The Maker's hands.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, 

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

meant to be

there are no coincidences. 

there is no luck.

through the good and bad,

count them all as blessings.

forget regret.

every decision you've made

was meant to be.

december in detail

no, this will not be an "obligatory 2014 recap".

however, it will be a super informal december recap.

from top to bottom:

1, 2, & 3: one of the bestest guys i know, Matt, snapped some photos of me after our Bao Bei binge.

4, 5 & 6: the day we launched our wings + horns x New Balance collab (sneaker, jacket, zip hoodie + jogger pant). 

that's Dave and i throwin' up deuces (or whatever the cool kids like to call it). 

next, you'll notice my super amateur foot modelling for Hypebeast 

(shot by Jeremy Jude Lee- maybe one of the chillest guys i know & super talented too), 

wearing the collab sneaker. 

the next photo is a snap of Tiger's feet cause i like what he's doin'.

7: my cute succulents just beaming with delight.

8: wearing an Aritzia coat, American Apparel denim and socks and the wings + horns x New Balance MT580's.

9: wearing a thrifted coat, American Apparel button-down, denim and socks, 

Daniel Wellington Sheffield Lady Watch, Adidas Superstars and Army & Navy toque.

10: post wings + horns Christmas party with nik. a really awesome evening.

11: wearing a Stutterheim rain jacket, Oak + Fort leggings, wings + horns x New Balance MT580's,

 thrifted knapsack and Army & Navy toque.

12: after receiving new things in the mail, you sometimes have an urge to just throw it all on...

 for example.

13: Christmas Eve. very cold.

14: MY SUPER RAD DAD on Christmas day! 

(ps follow @squattingwithplants on Instagram... or simply send me your squatting with plants photo(s)... or just hashtag #squattingwithplants... but whatever you do, don't stop squatting).

15: received this Acne mail the other day. it was like, how one person on Instagram phrased it, "Acne-ception". 

love Acne but the branding on all the packaging was a bit of an overkill 

(and you're seeing only half of it here, folks).

the end.

oh, 

hello 2015.